I have been dealing with jealousy...
I have been dealing with jealousy and envy. There. I said it.
Unfortunately this comes with feelings of guilt and embarrassment because I know better than to get wrapped up in things like Instagram likes. But I promised myself a long time ago that I wasn't going to put on a pretty face when it came to sharing my life with people, because the whole point of doing something like blogging is allowing other people the opportunity to realize they are not alone in their struggles - we can all share a "me too" and feel a whole lot more normal, amen?
I guess it's always been there for me - the need for approval and the notion that I am doing a good job, being a good girl, daughter, wife. But of course you throw in something like social media and everything just gets all sorts of tangled up. We have a window into the worlds of everyone - the perfect side to their worlds. The pretty side, the put together side. Not the fights or the tears or the insecurities.
Please don't get me wrong here - I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA. I think there is SO much of social being used to glorify God, share in the struggles, advocacy. So please hear my heart behind this - we have to come to the table secure in who we are in Christ before we can go confidently to the world of scrolling. Before we know it, our marriage isn't good enough, I am not skinny enough, I didn't have my pretty quiet time with my coffee today, they have amazing clothes. You name it, I have felt it... and so have you.
The Lord has been slowly giving me boundaries when it has come to social media to help guard my heart. I will share a few ways He's spoken to me for combating these insecurities:
1. Post something and don't check your post for a few hours. This is when I knew there was a problem - I would post something encouraging or uplifting, hoping to bring people back to Jesus, and then check it every 5 seconds to get peoples approval - WRONG MOTIVES SISTER.
2. Pray for the person you are most jealous of. Pray for their success, for their audience to grow, for their words to touch people, because HEY YOU (me) - THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYONE IN MINISTRY.
3. CELEBRATE other people. See a cute picture of a husband and wife? Comment and celebrate them! Real honesty here - I would scroll and intentionally not like something because I didn't want to give them another like. yeah. I know. I told you I would be honest here!
4. Social Media Free Hours: I felt a huge call from God to put my phone up between 4pm - 8pm (except for the social media work I do!). I would be scrolling the whole time Daniel was home, or not getting my to do's done because I was so. caught. up. This has been so life giving, and I am so productive!
My friend Lysa TerKeurst dedicated a whole chapter in her latest book Uninvited about this whole issue. The title of the chapter is "Her Success Does Not Threaten Mine!" Well AMEN. This chapter is everything. She shared a verse from Luke that really really helped me.
"The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into the field." Luke 10:2 NLT
Lysa asked that God would send more people into ministry not less, because we are all on the same team! YES Lysa! This is it! The key. WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM. WORKING FOR THE SAME KINGDOM. THE SAME GOD. Lysa also mentions in this chapter that telling God that we aren't good enough or as good as someone else only limits his abilities to use us. It's not honoring to Him, and it lacks acknowledgment that God is capable of using whoever He wants. Again - YES AND AMEN!
So be challenged in this today - that there are always ways to combat feelings of jealous. But also be comforted - I have been there too, I am sharing in the struggle. Share this with your friends, not because I want people to think I am awesome, but truly because I believe women are bound to these feelings and issues.