Dear Mama - 7 Years with Jesus

54295_486225288114_3324521_o.jpg

My precious Mama, 

7 years - That number nearly takes my breath away. How can it be that this much time has passed and so much has happened but it still feels as fresh as yesterday? And yet, I feel you with me even still. 

So much has happened in the last year. Daniel and I moved to Savannah (you would die at the southern charm!) We have met some incredible friends and have slowly adjusted to the norms of Army life. 

Robert has become such a strong young man - you would be so proud of him. He carries himself with confidence and people literally swarm to be around him! He is so gentle and kind and protective, but just as hilarious and fun as always! AND he has your dance moves - he carries your legacy with him on the dance floor at Wofford just like you did all those years back. It has been so tender to my heart to watch him and Daniel become brothers in the last 18 months, and it fills my heart with such gladness. 

As Daniel prepares for his deployment, I think back to what you might tell me. I think back to the years of suffering you and Dad walked, and I try to wrap my head around how hard it must have been in marriage. The only thing I can remember is how you both just kept moving forward. You kept trusting. You kept surrendering, no matter the outcome. You lived out Mark 14:36 so well.. "Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

And you know what Mom? Even though this is not what we would have chosen, God has still used this suffering for his continued glory. 

You marked so many lives, especially mine. And in some weird way, I am grateful to God to have had my mommy for 17 years. I do not have a right to anything, and yet I got YOU for 17 years. And now I have Daniel, and eventually I will have more blessings in our family. You taught me how to steward relationships and blessings for however long God allows them to be ours, and that has marked me in tremendous ways. 

In the last few weeks, one of my favorite singers released a new album called Lullabies for the Beloved and the songs have brought me so much of your presence. I picture us cuddled on the couch humming and singing along. I remember the days we would dance around the house belting out old Celine Dion songs, and how we would dress up to watch Cinderella for the 60th time.

"I want to watch Rella Mommy! Rella, Rella!"

I loved singing melodies with my mommy.

One of the songs on the album is called Always Remember to Never Forget. With each lyric, I am taken back to all of the ways you instilled love and beauty deep within my soul, always reminding me of who I am with Jesus by my side. You literally sang over me with gladness! These words take me back to millions of moments you told me you loved me.

Hey there beautiful one, you there shining with glory
Would you let your heart hear, if I sang about you
Did you know that every fairy tale you love

They have borrowed your story
Of a maiden so lovely, and a hero so true

It's just that this world is hollow
And it wants to swallow
Any memory of who you really are

Always remember to never forget
When you look in the mirror, the answer is yes
Yes you are pure as gold, yes you are beautiful
So always remember to never forget
Always remember to never forget

Like a treasure in the deep, your heart is a diamond
And your hero will do what it takes to find it
So he can hold it tenderly, and become your defender
Even lay down his life, to make your heart heal

It's just that this world is broken
And it want to hold back
Any evidence of, that kind of love

So always remember to never forget
When you look in the mirror, the answer is yes
Yes you are pure as gold, yes you are beautiful
So always remember to never forget
Always remember to never forget

My darling your light, his favourite parade
On a bright sunny day, in the middle of the mossy
Will you still dance, In your favourite dress
And oh he loves when you never forget

So always remember to never forget
When you look in the mirror, the answer is yes
Yes you are pure as gold, yes you are beautiful
So always remember to never forget
Always remember to never forget

So always remember to never forget
So always remember to never, baby never forget

So today, my precious mommy, I will listen to this song for the 1000th time and picture you singing the words to me. And I promise to sing these words over my future children, and tell them all about their Libby who is in Heaven. 

I love you, 

Your Scotty girl